bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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