why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
