I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
