It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
