Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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