i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
