I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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