Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
