im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
