i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
