he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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