Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
