i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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