We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
