As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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