If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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