After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
