C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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