yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
