honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
