i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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