Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
