when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he thought i was a dude.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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