As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
