walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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