return my video game
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize