So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
