he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
