I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
