I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize