Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
