What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
