I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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