she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
