I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
