put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
