Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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