She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
