My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
