After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
