I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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