all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
