I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
