Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize