Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I enjoy the company of your penis
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
