Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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