It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
