..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize