I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
