If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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