dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
