so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
