:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
