She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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