i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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