things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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