I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
