watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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