Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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