so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
