Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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